Kavanaugh vs Ford - Ford vs Kavanaugh

I have no opinion, I'm for neither side but I do know that the one thing that needs to be addressed during these very important times that hasn't is our role (woman) in all of this.

#MeToo, Cosby and now the Ford vs Kavanaugh incident not one woman has stepped up and said "hey ladies what is our role in all of this?"  We have a role, because it's never ever just one sided, never. As a population, the female population, we are not victims, we are co-conspirators.

Here's what I would ask you, how do you dress for work?

High heels? how high? and why do you wear them? Do they make you look smart? Accomplished? A leader? Successful?  I know you are not wearing them for comfort.  My guess if you are being honest with yourself the answer will be sexy.

In your nice crisp business suit do you show cleavage? If so why? Again does it make you look successful? A leader? Accomplished? Oh maybe you want men to look at your boobs while you're talking to them.

How tight is your skirt and how high is that slit?  knee high, thigh high, hip high? 

Take a visit to a night club on a Friday or Saturday night and tell me what do you see with the woman in the club? How are they dressed? How are they dancing? You can't dress sexy, act sexy, dance sexy without there being consequences. By being this way a message is being sent over to the male's part of the body that gets easily stimulated (the penis). Remember it's common knowledge most men think with their penises.

I'm not saying that the victims which there are many are to blame but men see us females dressing and acting sexy to attract them. Those who do that and there are many, we are creating this problem for all woman. Men see us as sex objects because we dress sexy, act sexy, do sexy, and not as smart, caring, loving, accomplished human beings. We think we should be sexy and they (men) see sex, it's so simple.

Some of you are saying "we can dress anyway we want to and you can but you have to ask yourselves what is your intention for dressing this way? Be honest with yourself. I really don't care what your answer is but for you and your well being be honest with yourself.

Society has told us this is who we should be, this is how we should act, this is how we should dress, but if you buy into it there is a price to pay and it's a very high price for you and for all woman. We've had it rough throughout history we have had and still have a lot to overcome but we are now letting all of our wins become losses. Dress sexy and then it becomes easier and easier for men to take advantage of us because it looks like we are saying come and get it.

As a teenager I was taught to be sexy, act flirtatious and I'd get the man of my dreams and to be honest that didn't work out so well.  There is more substance to me and to you then being sexy.  Don't assume that sexy will get you where you want to go, whether it's a job promotion or a husband. It will definitely at some point back fire on you.

Men should not take advantage of woman but woman stop being this sexy thing that men get all worked up over.

The Scary Elephant In The Room

I've come to realize that we are born to die, with some stuff thrown in the middle. The stuff in the middle is the gift of life but it does come to an end. I know as I approach my 70th birthday the idea of dying becomes more and more pronounced, I'm hopeful it's gonna happen later than sooner.

I live in an over 55 community with most of the owners in the 80's or above. The ambulances and fire department are frequently visitors and it gets depressing.  We all live here with our beautiful homes waiting, and as we are waiting we play cards, watch movies, play pool, bingo, swim etc at the club house. Until...... Reminds me of the song "another one bites the dust"

So you might ask where does that scary elephant come in? He's there, I believe in each household in every over 55 community, being buried by the force of will to not even think about it. But that isn't always the case. One of my neighbors has terminal cancer and hospice has been called. She has fought cancer for the last 5 years and cancer is finally winning.  I wonder what it must be like to live each day and to not know when it will be the last, because she knows it's coming. Does she and her husband talk frankly about what is to happen and what life will be like without her? Does she confess her undying love to him and to each and every one of her children? Does she go thru the process of saying goodbye with the promise she'll still be with them?  Does she let each and everyone of those she love start to grieve before she leaves?

The elephant wishes to be acknowledged and for good reason.

When my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer any talk of her illness or imminent death was forbidden. All of us 5 kids knew she was dying, my father knew she was dying I suspect she hoped and hoped that if she and we didn't acknowledge it she'd be okay. It was weird visiting her trying to act as if nothing was going to happen but along with my mother and I in the room was the elephant. A lost opportunity for her and all of us siblings. My father left the same way.

I think I'll have a great conversation with my children about dying and how I feel about it, how I'll miss them and then I'll drill them on what will they be doing with my money. ;-)