Kavanaugh vs Ford - Ford vs Kavanaugh

I have no opinion, I'm for neither side but I do know that the one thing that needs to be addressed during these very important times that hasn't is our role (woman) in all of this.

#MeToo, Cosby and now the Ford vs Kavanaugh incident not one woman has stepped up and said "hey ladies what is our role in all of this?"  We have a role, because it's never ever just one sided, never. As a population, the female population, we are not victims, we are co-conspirators.

Here's what I would ask you, how do you dress for work?

High heels? how high? and why do you wear them? Do they make you look smart? Accomplished? A leader? Successful?  I know you are not wearing them for comfort.  My guess if you are being honest with yourself the answer will be sexy.

In your nice crisp business suit do you show cleavage? If so why? Again does it make you look successful? A leader? Accomplished? Oh maybe you want men to look at your boobs while you're talking to them.

How tight is your skirt and how high is that slit?  knee high, thigh high, hip high? 

Take a visit to a night club on a Friday or Saturday night and tell me what do you see with the woman in the club? How are they dressed? How are they dancing? You can't dress sexy, act sexy, dance sexy without there being consequences. By being this way a message is being sent over to the male's part of the body that gets easily stimulated (the penis). Remember it's common knowledge most men think with their penises.

I'm not saying that the victims which there are many are to blame but men see us females dressing and acting sexy to attract them. Those who do that and there are many, we are creating this problem for all woman. Men see us as sex objects because we dress sexy, act sexy, do sexy, and not as smart, caring, loving, accomplished human beings. We think we should be sexy and they (men) see sex, it's so simple.

Some of you are saying "we can dress anyway we want to and you can but you have to ask yourselves what is your intention for dressing this way? Be honest with yourself. I really don't care what your answer is but for you and your well being be honest with yourself.

Society has told us this is who we should be, this is how we should act, this is how we should dress, but if you buy into it there is a price to pay and it's a very high price for you and for all woman. We've had it rough throughout history we have had and still have a lot to overcome but we are now letting all of our wins become losses. Dress sexy and then it becomes easier and easier for men to take advantage of us because it looks like we are saying come and get it.

As a teenager I was taught to be sexy, act flirtatious and I'd get the man of my dreams and to be honest that didn't work out so well.  There is more substance to me and to you then being sexy.  Don't assume that sexy will get you where you want to go, whether it's a job promotion or a husband. It will definitely at some point back fire on you.

Men should not take advantage of woman but woman stop being this sexy thing that men get all worked up over.

The Scary Elephant In The Room

I've come to realize that we are born to die, with some stuff thrown in the middle. The stuff in the middle is the gift of life but it does come to an end. I know as I approach my 70th birthday the idea of dying becomes more and more pronounced, I'm hopeful it's gonna happen later than sooner.

I live in an over 55 community with most of the owners in the 80's or above. The ambulances and fire department are frequently visitors and it gets depressing.  We all live here with our beautiful homes waiting, and as we are waiting we play cards, watch movies, play pool, bingo, swim etc at the club house. Until...... Reminds me of the song "another one bites the dust"

So you might ask where does that scary elephant come in? He's there, I believe in each household in every over 55 community, being buried by the force of will to not even think about it. But that isn't always the case. One of my neighbors has terminal cancer and hospice has been called. She has fought cancer for the last 5 years and cancer is finally winning.  I wonder what it must be like to live each day and to not know when it will be the last, because she knows it's coming. Does she and her husband talk frankly about what is to happen and what life will be like without her? Does she confess her undying love to him and to each and every one of her children? Does she go thru the process of saying goodbye with the promise she'll still be with them?  Does she let each and everyone of those she love start to grieve before she leaves?

The elephant wishes to be acknowledged and for good reason.

When my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer any talk of her illness or imminent death was forbidden. All of us 5 kids knew she was dying, my father knew she was dying I suspect she hoped and hoped that if she and we didn't acknowledge it she'd be okay. It was weird visiting her trying to act as if nothing was going to happen but along with my mother and I in the room was the elephant. A lost opportunity for her and all of us siblings. My father left the same way.

I think I'll have a great conversation with my children about dying and how I feel about it, how I'll miss them and then I'll drill them on what will they be doing with my money. ;-)

Getting Ready To Sell My Home!

My home

 
I've just recently put my home up for sale because I found one I like better.

Why is it that buying a home is so much easier than selling your home? I've been through quite a bit of buying and selling of homes and for me it's exhausting when it's time to sell.

This time around I decided that to help make the process go quicker (getting the home sold) I would think like the buyer. Quicker transaction means Petey and I stay sane. Selling my home has been a bit difficult on Petey.

My Petey

So I followed a few guidelines to get my home ready for potential buyers.

My first area of concentration, a sparkling clean home. It's really hard to sell a dirty cluttered house and even if someone is interested in it the offered price will reflect the look of the home. 

I have shiny dark chocolate laminate floors that need to be mopped every day to keep them looking great so I mop floors all the time. Added bonus the cleaning solution I use smells great. 

I spray Fabreze all over the furniture and rugs, etc, cause when you have a dog, it smells like dog, though like most dog owners I don't smell it.

I turn on all the lights before they arrive and open all the blinds. My home is on the dark side but once the lights and blinds are open and on, it looks pretty good.

My bathroom is spotless with no evidence of my toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant or other personal items. I luckily have a closet in my bathroom so I hide the stuff in there.

I keep my kitchen counters shiny and clutter free.

So far my plan is working. I'm getting lots of showings with positive feedback and I'm hopeful an offer will come soon.

Buying a home is an emotional experience and based on feelings a buyer will determine if they want to buy your home.

It's ready for a showing

It takes work but will be so worth it if the home sells quickly and I get my price,

Home Staging Part 3 Pay Attention To Detail!

When it comes to selling your home you need that eye for details, it is very important. The buyer is going to pay lots of attention to everything in your home, and everything translates into dollars either as a plus or minus for you.

I mentioned that I cleaned for 3 days, getting my home ready for selling. It was sparkling clean but once I started paying attention to detail I came up with some little issues.

This was a scuff mark at the bottom of a door into the bedroom that probably happened when we moved some furniture. There's a very strong possibility that the buyer will see dollar signs when they see this little scuff. They will calculate in their head probably hundreds and hundreds of dollars that it will cost to paint the door. Just a little wet rag got rid of that scuff mark and all is well. More dollars in your pocket.

Sticky door knobs.  I've been unlucky to encounter this in a home I viewed. Needless to say I didn't buy that house and ran.... yes, ran, for some sanitizer. Clean your door knobs, especially if you have children! Here's my front door that needs attention. One little wipe with a glass cleaner and it looks like new. 

Now, there is no big deal about some lopsided blinds, really, there isn't. It's an easy fix, so why not make it look presentable. don't give a buyer anything to distract them with while they're considering buying your home

I had my first showing yesterday. There were 6 people plus the realtor and the feedback was "the house shows very well". That's what you want to hear. If the realtor thinks your home shows well then they'll  be happy to bring other customers to see it.

Psychology Of Home Staging Why You Need To Do It!

Way back in the 80's I tried my hand at real estate. I hated it and the reason why is probably another whole blog post but what I did learn from that experience when a home isn't selling it's always about the price.

For this blog post lets assume when I'm giving examples of pricing that it's like house to like house. Same neighborhood same square footage, same bedrooms, same bathrooms, etc.

Now you live in a $200,000 home price area and decide to price your home at $300,000 and it isn't selling, well it's the price. I know this is a very silly example but I wanted to start with the obvious to then show the not so obvious.

Now the same $200,000 area you list your home for sale at the market rate but again it's not selling and you scratch your head in bewilderment because you don't understand why. Here's where the psychology of home staging comes in. You have to learn to look at your home in the way a potential buyer sees it. Grandma's doilies are so pretty but the buyer hates them and can't see the forest for the trees or the house because of the doilies.

You know way back in the 70's when my first husband and I looked for a house we knew that there would need for work to be done in the house we chose. Paint, decorating, possible a new kitchen and so with that in mind we were open to the potential of the property. Today's buyer isn't, sorry, they don't have the vision nor the time for it so you the seller have to do it for them.

Selling a home is so stressful and add to the mix your own daily stresses it becomes even more difficult selling your home. But I want you to think about this in the way of a second job that will earn you money.  Houses staged sell for more than ones that aren't.

Staging is a really easy way to earn extra money and it's not hard to do and for a small investment or even no money at all  you can get the price for your home that's it's really worth.

Another word for staging would be "neutralizing".


First step in getting ready to sell your home is give it a really good cleaning. If the job is too big for you alone call on friends and family to come help you get it done.

As your getting this done I'll be writing my next post about the finer details of staging and my hope is that it will help you get your home sold quickly and for the correct price.

My home is up for sale right now and before I listed it I cleaned for 3 days straight.

Here's another post on staging that might interest you 

How To Home Stage Your Home For Selling First The Guest Bathroom

Off and on these past few years I've bought and sold houses. Most of them were done for flipping but I also have moved myself in the last few years 3 times and I'll be doing it again.

I live in a wonderful over 55 community but just don't like the house I'm in. I originally bought this house to flip and when after a reasonable time it didn't sell I just decided to take my profits from the house I was living in and move into this one. That was almost 2 years ago.

So I've found a house I like and am in contract but now I have the big job of getting this home ready for sale.

Home staging is the most important thing you can do to get your home sold and to get top dollar.

So I've started first with the guest bathroom.  The vanity and top is all new and also the floor but everything else is orignal but in excellent condition. You would think that I wouldn't have to do anything but your wrong.

Here's a picture of that guest bathroom when the house was original up for sale 2 years ago and can you see what is a bit disturbing to your eye. Actually there are three things that need attention.

 This photo was taken by a realtor that should of known not to take a photo with the toilet seat up. So that is an easy fix and one that won't happen again with my new realtor.

No paper in the toilet holder, yes I know it's silly but I think it draws your attention to what is lacking in the room instead of the nice looking stuff. So make sure you have toilet paper on the holder.

Last but not least look at the blinds. The contractor put the blinds up but didn't shorten them to the correct length and all you see is this bunched up blinds on the bottom of the window.

So I did what was needed plus some other stuff like painting the scuffed up woodwork which is not shown.

Here's how the bathroom looks now.

You know photos tell a lot about a room and these photos are telling me it still looks a bit bland. 

Before I decided to move I thought I'd make a nice white ruffle curtain for that window and I think that might be just the right amount of drama this room needs. I don't have much time to get it done as Thursday the 6th my agent will be here to take photos.

What do you think?

Check out more of my posts on staging here

Following Directions For Using Transfer Artist Paper

We all know that men have a hard time asking for directions or even looking at the enclosed directions for items needing assembly. It's true I've experience this first hand. So really with that assumption I thought I was good, ask for directions, look at the enclosed directions for items I'm either assembling or using and I always do that.

But truth be told it has come to my attention that I think I'm above the whole direction thing.  I read them and then just do my own thing.

Below you will see a photo of a pillow I made. I used my Lesley Riley's Transfer Artist Paper (love this stuff) and I can't even tell you how many times I read the directions. I don't use this paper that often so I need a refresher just to make sure I'm doing it right.

There's the part though that says to iron on a hard surface. My ironing board is really not a totally hard surface and I know that mentally I kept saying "it's okay nothing bad is going to happen" I just sort of dismissed this and went ahead and just ignored sound  advice.

So as you can see by my photo my image has left an impression of my metal iron board. I just sat there and shook my head in disbelief that this happened. Really don't know why I would be surprised the direction said Hard Surface  not hard surface with holes in it.

So I took out a towel and used that on the ironing board for the next image I was doing and it work, surprise surprise.

I don't know that I will ever make the comment that men don't follow directions cause I just experienced first hand that I'm just as guilty of doing the same thing. 

Stay tuned on Monday I'll be showing you how I made these pillows and a few others from fabric napkins and tablecloths.  Yeah this one will be included.